Beautifully Ruined by Nessa Morgan

Author:Nessa Morgan [Morgan, Nessa]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Amazon: B00IUVTNAY
Publisher: Nessa Morgan
Published: 2014-03-06T00:00:00+00:00

eleven

The rain streams down my window in thick streams, masking the outside world in a dark, hazy blur. I’ve missed the rain. I’ve missed the storms—at least, that’s what I tell myself when I leave my blinds up—I’m just watching the storm and listening to the rain. It’s easy to believe. I lie in my bed, watching the designs created from the rain and shadows along my wall. I watch them twist and turn beautifully, dancing ballet against the wall. They’re eerie, creepy, and haunting but I can’t look away. I’m too mesmerized by the beauty of the storm.

That’s what I tell myself.

When I do look away, distract myself even momentarily from my wall, I see the light in the room across the alley. I left my blinds up and the curtains back so I could see Zephyr. The truth hurts. Okay, not to see Zephyr, just know that he’s home. While it’s only seven at night, I’m in bed trying to fall asleep, but the sleep just won’t take over. I’m awake and staring at blurry designs on my wall.

After last weekend, Zephyr wouldn’t even look at me in the halls. He barely looked at me before, but now I was nothing more than a fixture on the wall, a piece of furniture forgotten.

That hurt more than anything else.

I should do what I want. I should do it right this moment.

But what do I want?

I want Zephyr back.

That’s what I told Dr. Jett in our session and it’s true, I want him back. I feel like I need him back. I just want him to pull me into his arms and tell me that everything will be okay even when that’s not a possibility. I had my chance last weekend. All I had to do was be honest. All I had to do was tell him the truth. But how can I tell a truth so haunting, I don’t even want to believe it? He can’t possibly expect me to open up about this, not now.

But if it’s the only way…

And I only have the here and now.

I kick back the blankets and slip my feet into my green flip-flops. I’m not sure what I’m planning but I’m going to do something about the hole in my heart that only Zephyr can fill.

I walk down the creaking stairs, listening for Hilary. I’m not sure if she’s home, I haven’t left my room all day, she could be at the hospital for all I know. It wouldn’t matter to me if she was here; I’m going to do this. I can’t afford to stop myself now, not when the courage swells within me.

I step through the front door, feeling the chill creep through my skin, chilling my bones. My bare arms shake from the cold and I suddenly wish for a jacket. I’m not going back inside the house for it. I’ll only chicken out. I step into the rain, feeling it mat my hair to my skin, feeling it flow down my bare legs, feel it rinse me clean.

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